Parenting is hard work and advice for parents is available from many sources including grandparents, teachers, doctors, therapists, books, classes, and blogs … just to name a few. However, a missing ingredient in most of the prescriptions for parenting is a spirit of curiosity.

Historically, curiosity hasn’t always been highly regarded and some notable writers warned against it. Saint Augustine wrote in Confessions, AD 397, that God “fashioned hell for the inquisitive”. In Don Juan, Lord Byron proclaimed in 1824, “I loathe that low vice curiosity.”

However, curiosity is praised and recommended at other times (e.g., “I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious…” Albert Einstein). Today people use the word to describe something odd or unexpected (e.g., That’s curious.) You can buy a curiosity cabinet for extraordinary objects that spark discussions. But none of those exactly captures the essential spirit of curiosity being recommended to you.

Curiosity Parenting is the process of exploring why your child does what he does. Why does she wet the bed? Why is he so hyperactive? Why does she wash her hands so often? Why can’t he read? Why does she flap her hands when she’s excited? Why does he get so angry? Those of us who have been parenting for a while are familiar with questions like these. Some questions, even in the age of Google, do not yield an immediately satisfying answer so they linger in our minds.

However, our attitude towards the search matters. Curiosity, at its best, is open-minded, uncritical, non-judgmental and is not interested in placing blame or creating guilt. We are pursuing insight not just answers. Psychological insight is very much like the head of a turtle because if it senses hostility, danger, risk … it hides inside a protective shell called the unconscious. You cannot force your way into the unconscious any more than you can force a turtle’s head out of its shell. A spirit of curiosity requires emotionally safe searching because some of insight you seek can only be found in the heart, mind, feelings, and thoughts of your child.

This blog is designed to help you develop or enrich a spirit of curiosity because Google provides answers not insight.